A GRIP ON THE PAST
A GRIP ON THE PAST
I remember it like its yesterday, now that I have seen him again.
I was only nine and he appeared 20 thereabout.
My parents had gone to a funeral and had left me in charge of my 2 siblings.
I remember how scared I was then, of the dark and the idea of being left alone sent chills down my spine.
So when he appeared on our door late in the night,
I had been overjoyed.
All my fears had vanished at just seeing him,
Little did I know that I was going to live forever scared like a chicken,
To me he had come to my rescue.
He had looked happy to see us as well,
However, the snide comments that he was giving,
Where scaring me;
But I trusted him,
He was my uncle after all.
"Baby" he was calling me on that particular day,
"Come sit next to your favourite uncle,” he had said.
I loved him besides he had come to my rescue and I trusted him that much.
I moved closer to where he was seated;
Surprisingly he picked me up and I landed on his muscular lap
He was wearing a smile that scared me.
I was wearing a mini skirt,
Not that I loved short skirts but because I was growing up rapidly that all my clothes were becoming small.
It did not bother me I was free to wear them anyway.
I was still in turmoil as to why he had picked me and carried me on his lap,
When my little bro was there screaming,
"Uncle can you carry me too"
He had to give up and continue with his cartoons.
He started stroking my thigh,
His hands in my skirts.
He said I was beautiful,
I doubted that because at school they called me "Ugly Betty".
He was smiling all the way
I was in confusion,
I wondered why he was doing wat he was doing.
I had heard about people who get abused young girls who get raped by people they trusted,
Was this happening to me
No, I was witty and besides my uncle loved me.
He would never do anything to hurt me
But there he was stroking my little thigh
He was panting,
I was scared,
I didn’t know what was happening.
Then he got hold of my undies.
I wanted to scream but that would awake my little sis, and startle my little bro who was glued on his cartoons.
As he fumbled his huge palm in my undies suddenly I
Heard a hard knock on the door.
And angrily
He pushed me away and asked
"Wat are you trying to do", he said.
That’s when reality hit hard
He wanted to abuse me
He was on the verge to take away my pride.
I ran to the door hoping to see my parents but it was my cousin.
At seeing, her tears started rolling down,
"Wat is it dear .Is it because I’m late, I’m so sorry got stuck in traffic but I’m here now."
I wanted to tell her the reason I was crying but I couldn’t this would cause hatred among my family members.
Besides no one, will believe me
At seeing my cousin, uncle asked to be excused.
And from that day onwards I never saw him again.
Only to appear now,
Acting as if nothing ever happened,
Acting all good and nice.
It hurts me to see my parents
Playing happy families
With the man who almost destroyed my future.
I thought that I had forgiven
I thought I had forgotten about it
I thought I had moved on
But no
I was far from it
His visit had awakened nightmares of yesterday.
It had opened old wounds that I thought had healed
Written by
...
Linda Machingura
..
image source here
