Darkest shade of grey

In which dark cave does your beauty lie?

For I have taken down the darkest jungles; searching for you

But I still find nothing but a monster each season.

In which deep pit has thy faithfulness fallen?

For I have dived into the deepest valley; just for you

But I still stumble upon nightmares in each trial

I gave you everything I thought I had, even when I did not have anything to offer

But you showed me what you thought was love when you were inwardly slashing my soul.

Growing up as an inspired youth I dreamt of making you the most precious of all gems;

I sought to garnish you with all beauties of this universe and out.

My life, I wanted you to be the one

The one I have always desired to nourish with my sweat of hard work

But here you are wretched and destroyed like the walls of Babylon.

I cry out for you, but you are in ashes of ruin, how will you rescue me from my malady

All I ever wanted was for you to love me too

But in your dreamy eyes I’m still a worthless fool, an idiot!

I have walked away because of your countless mistakes

Here I am, begging for forgiveness for your thoughtless wrongs

My life, why is it so hard for you to hold me like your own?

I thought I was lovable, but you still won’t comply.

Tell me if I have wronged you. Kill me if you think I never cared for you

For you treat me like a criminal when I submit to you

Was I being stupid when I hoped for us to be so close like the night and the moon

Was it a failure that I nurtured in the name of true love?

Everyone adored your success! my life; until you walked away

You have dressed me in shame and poverty

My life, you are now a treasure I lost when I was struggling,

Struggling to keep your beauty untainted

Now you are the darkest shade of grey.

Written by

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Khulekani Ndlovu

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image source here

Independent Labs